Hi, my name is Samantha Felstein. I’m vapid, shallow, and mildly attractive. Here is “a list of crap no one cares about”. I’m a gay man trapped inside a pretty teenage girl’s body. I’m 19 years old. I share my birthday with Zac Efron. Hablo un poco español. I want to be a gold digging trophy wife. I enjoy receiving and answering questions. I’m a patriotic, bogan, Aussie sheila. I’m materialistic, narcissistic, a little bit sadistic, and I have double standards. I’m a swimming teacher. I’m in a band. I want to go on Wallaby camp. I hate going to the dentist. I casually read Wiki pages in my spare time. I’m addicted to Minesweeper. I want to see a black gospel choir. I find Taylor Lautner repulsive. I am terrible at typing. I would like a pet snake, some exotic fish, a seahorse, a ferret, and a macaw named Richie. I have some strange dreams. I think I’m the only “Samantha Felstein” in the world. I want to go fishing. I like sports. I swim and play netball. I support the West Tigers, Sydney Swans, Waratahs, Sydney Swifts, Sydney FC, and all the Australian teams. I’m super keen for London 2012. I like fashion, especially shoes. I like the beach and waves, but have no surfing skills. I will post the most random array of all mentioned above. I will often queue a lot of posts and spam pictures of people.Tumblr (3.0; @squidgeburger)http://squidgeburger.tumblr.com/<img src="http://24.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_mdcuidxQhd1qlwrezo1_500.jpg"/><br/><br/>http://squidgeburger.tumblr.com/post/51145847116http://squidgeburger.tumblr.com/post/51145847116Thu, 23 May 2013 23:13:57 +1000<img src="http://24.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_ly4i28tjKz1qfdwsio1_500.gif"/><br/><br/><p><a href="http://clubcalifornia.tumblr.com/post/51138244233/i-find-this-so-fascinating-wow" class="tumblr_blog" target="_blank">clubcalifornia</a>:</p> <blockquote><p>I find this so fascinating.. wow</p></blockquote>http://squidgeburger.tumblr.com/post/51144076153http://squidgeburger.tumblr.com/post/51144076153Thu, 23 May 2013 22:27:25 +1000<img src="http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_mazzusjYAd1qe7mxjo1_500.jpg"/><br/><br/>http://squidgeburger.tumblr.com/post/51142495749http://squidgeburger.tumblr.com/post/51142495749Thu, 23 May 2013 21:42:46 +1000<img src="http://24.media.tumblr.com/7e885533a6a65c5396670839d5a7fcf6/tumblr_mn7n48SFhu1r0qqppo1_500.jpg"/><br/><br/>http://squidgeburger.tumblr.com/post/51095053807http://squidgeburger.tumblr.com/post/51095053807Thu, 23 May 2013 07:14:52 +1000<img src="http://25.media.tumblr.com/9169684d16ec2f3dad5c4f30f1fd258c/tumblr_mn7pn3sSds1qdhlk3o1_500.jpg"/><br/> Great Guns, Baby! <br/><br/> <img src="http://25.media.tumblr.com/4f30b3832b672d1469b4bce737f96753/tumblr_mn7pn3sSds1qdhlk3o2_500.jpg"/><br/> Tah Man! <br/><br/> <img src="http://25.media.tumblr.com/80c26a1950db3b7b19b5be7f7cd3ea89/tumblr_mn7pn3sSds1qdhlk3o3_500.jpg"/><br/> Modest Man! <br/><br/> <img src="http://25.media.tumblr.com/6253565b1e308a448a763391b58615a6/tumblr_mn7pn3sSds1qdhlk3o4_500.jpg"/><br/> Whoa, Nellie! <br/><br/> <img src="http://25.media.tumblr.com/f520a368d6f3fc436203f1e294b981e4/tumblr_mn7pn3sSds1qdhlk3o5_500.jpg"/><br/> Chomping At The Bit! <br/><br/> <img src="http://24.media.tumblr.com/6bf66da3d60a28e43a799febf4e7bbd6/tumblr_mn7pn3sSds1qdhlk3o6_500.jpg"/><br/> Just Damn, Cute! <br/><br/> <img src="http://25.media.tumblr.com/40be30d104e33b3a8f74d413dc7276f8/tumblr_mn7pn3sSds1qdhlk3o7_500.jpg"/><br/> Stretch It, Baby! <br/><br/> <img src="http://25.media.tumblr.com/46e4fa06c4c037711e6b60b0affb5002/tumblr_mn7pn3sSds1qdhlk3o8_500.jpg"/><br/> Hump Day Hunk! <br/><br/> <p><a href="http://giantsorcowboys.tumblr.com/post/51082892884/hump-day-hunk-rob-horne-with-guns-like-his-rob" class="tumblr_blog" target="_blank">giantsorcowboys</a>:</p> <blockquote><p><strong>Hump Day Hunk: Rob Horne</strong></p> <p><strong>With Guns Like His, Rob Horne Proves To Be An Asset For The Tahs, And He’ll Prove To Be A Strong Center For The wallabies This Year!</strong></p> <p><strong>Get Your Game On, Baby!</strong></p></blockquote> <p>Aww he just looks like such a sweetie pie</p>http://squidgeburger.tumblr.com/post/51094818097http://squidgeburger.tumblr.com/post/51094818097Thu, 23 May 2013 07:11:46 +1000<img src="http://24.media.tumblr.com/ad68ad877adb9733feec4d8717002aa2/tumblr_mn6zyoExrS1qkc9jco1_500.png"/><br/> <br/><img src="http://25.media.tumblr.com/1a5e735364f6c9aa174058b7721cf686/tumblr_mn6zyoExrS1qkc9jco2_r1_500.png"/><br/> <br/><p><a href="http://roscoe66.tumblr.com/post/51059287023/berrick-barnes-of-the-waratahs" class="tumblr_blog" target="_blank">roscoe66</a>:</p> <blockquote><p>Berrick Barnes of the Waratahs</p></blockquote>http://squidgeburger.tumblr.com/post/51076159589http://squidgeburger.tumblr.com/post/51076159589Thu, 23 May 2013 02:19:40 +1000<img src="http://24.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lo5k5211P61qmbiswo1_500.jpg"/><br/><br/><p><a class="tumblr_blog" href="http://rapewhistled.tumblr.com/post/45062456935/whitestbitchalive-gisele-bundchen-louis" target="_blank">rapewhistled</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p><a class="tumblr_blog" href="http://whitestbitchalive.tumblr.com/post/45062284421" target="_blank">whitestbitchalive</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p>Gisele Bündchen, Louis Vuitton Spring 1999</p> </blockquote> <p>shitttttttttttttttttttttttt</p> </blockquote>http://squidgeburger.tumblr.com/post/51073755687http://squidgeburger.tumblr.com/post/51073755687Thu, 23 May 2013 01:33:19 +1000i would rather like to bang her on Sunday too<img src="http://25.media.tumblr.com/7a1232c824c337978942b2e7252de86e/tumblr_mn1t8rtPIj1r7r66vo1_500.jpg"/><br/> <br/><img src="http://24.media.tumblr.com/cacf24c6e218c865757dbea07402c056/tumblr_mn1t8rtPIj1r7r66vo2_500.jpg"/><br/> <br/><img src="http://25.media.tumblr.com/badf4bf4ca96dcd8b3cea7a67585248a/tumblr_mn1t8rtPIj1r7r66vo3_500.jpg"/><br/> <br/><img src="http://25.media.tumblr.com/9af35ead9ca60cd8e0832186c50dd45e/tumblr_mn1t8rtPIj1r7r66vo4_500.jpg"/><br/> <br/><img src="http://25.media.tumblr.com/08eb33427a8800420462244d8a711238/tumblr_mn1t8rtPIj1r7r66vo5_500.jpg"/><br/> <br/><img src="http://25.media.tumblr.com/3cd6548dfde4cb3fa696726e243a2453/tumblr_mn1t8rtPIj1r7r66vo6_500.jpg"/><br/> <br/><img src="http://24.media.tumblr.com/27a792dec7c0aad863916d50d26cfe22/tumblr_mn1t8rtPIj1r7r66vo7_500.jpg"/><br/> <br/><img src="http://24.media.tumblr.com/4e95672a8607358153fc2ae71df21c61/tumblr_mn1t8rtPIj1r7r66vo8_500.jpg"/><br/> <br/><img src="http://24.media.tumblr.com/9796a6d8e76b983d2ad7dc0331debeaf/tumblr_mn1t8rtPIj1r7r66vo9_500.jpg"/><br/> <br/><img src="http://24.media.tumblr.com/f5143598610b2dd1d381cd63a3fcc018/tumblr_mn1t8rtPIj1r7r66vo10_500.jpg"/><br/> <br/><p><a class="tumblr_blog" href="http://agentlehobbit.tumblr.com/post/50818898288/ladies-and-gentlemen-i-present-to-you-olivia" target="_blank">agentlehobbit</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p>Ladies and gentlemen… I present to you: Olivia Wilde</p> </blockquote> <p>I wanna bang you on Sunday.</p>http://squidgeburger.tumblr.com/post/51071487631http://squidgeburger.tumblr.com/post/51071487631Thu, 23 May 2013 00:46:44 +1000<img src="http://24.media.tumblr.com/ad982417f11ac488e814c8c33097f01a/tumblr_mn77ivo5wj1qdhlk3o1_500.jpg"/><br/> Papa Bear Package! <br/><br/> <img src="http://25.media.tumblr.com/52ceb1c5d4e0aa67dc53384057e5f732/tumblr_mn77ivo5wj1qdhlk3o2_500.jpg"/><br/> Goldilocks Who? Ha! Ha! Ha! <br/><br/> <img src="http://25.media.tumblr.com/80ef32c093502b5441eb2032f9e9b77a/tumblr_mn77ivo5wj1qdhlk3o3_500.jpg"/><br/> Whoa, Nellie! <br/><br/> <img src="http://24.media.tumblr.com/2f272a557b5435b29888eb73d02de36a/tumblr_mn77ivo5wj1qdhlk3o4_500.jpg"/><br/> Ginger Package! <br/><br/> <img src="http://25.media.tumblr.com/20c29a72220b97abe18ae58c79d2f971/tumblr_mn77ivo5wj1qdhlk3o5_500.jpg"/><br/> Best Mates in Lycra! <br/><br/> <img src="http://24.media.tumblr.com/24d73596bad768405ce830088d89d5fb/tumblr_mn77ivo5wj1qdhlk3o6_500.jpg"/><br/> Thunder Thighs! <br/><br/> <img src="http://25.media.tumblr.com/e334b6c56bc3f8c4eb6b08ee93fa55f2/tumblr_mn77ivo5wj1qdhlk3o7_500.jpg"/><br/> Sweet Package! <br/><br/> <img src="http://24.media.tumblr.com/d3fb2ad556ecf70f5d273873e6b2a99f/tumblr_mn77ivo5wj1qdhlk3o8_500.jpg"/><br/> Need To Do More Squats, Handsome! <br/><br/> <p><a href="http://giantsorcowboys.tumblr.com/post/51064189410/wednesdays-in-tights-who-wears-the-lycra-best" class="tumblr_blog" target="_blank">giantsorcowboys</a>:</p> <blockquote><p>Wednesdays in Tights!</p> <p><strong>Who Wears The Lycra Best?</strong></p> <p><strong>Ben McGlynn…Nice Package, Kiddo!</strong></p> <p><strong>Jude Bolton…Fine Form!</strong></p> <p><strong>Kurt Tippett…No Penalizing That Junk!</strong></p> <p><strong>Mike Pyke or Nick Smith…Tights Contrast Those Guns!</strong></p> <p><strong>Adam Goodes…Lycra Thunder Thighs!</strong></p> <p><strong>Daniel Hannebery…Lil’ Mate in Tights!</strong></p> <p><strong>Mitch Morton…Smuggle Your Budgy, Mate!</strong></p> <p><strong>Jeez Louise! They’re All Sexy As Hell, Baby!</strong></p> </blockquote> <p></p>http://squidgeburger.tumblr.com/post/51067398276http://squidgeburger.tumblr.com/post/51067398276Wed, 22 May 2013 23:13:54 +1000<p><a class="tumblr_blog" href="http://connuh.tumblr.com/post/46485392186/i-need-a-job-that-pays-at-least-10-000-dollars-an" target="_blank">connuh</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p>i need a job that pays at least 10,000 dollars an hour</p> </blockquote> <p>You&#8217;d better be a pretty bloody great root</p>http://squidgeburger.tumblr.com/post/51065702121http://squidgeburger.tumblr.com/post/51065702121Wed, 22 May 2013 22:30:53 +1000<img src="http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_ma2cmfkWLH1rf4ufwo1_500.jpg"/><br/><br/>http://squidgeburger.tumblr.com/post/51065570115http://squidgeburger.tumblr.com/post/51065570115Wed, 22 May 2013 22:27:29 +1000<img src="http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lpad5cgjOc1qzr6yho1_500.jpg"/><br/><br/><p><a class="tumblr_blog" href="http://eclettichevisioni.com/post/8639160839/paul-walker-sea-perfume" target="_blank">eclettichevisioni</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p>Paul Walker | sea perfume</p> </blockquote> <p>Pretty sure he’s the dude my aunty is in love with. Him and Bradley Cooper.</p>http://squidgeburger.tumblr.com/post/51064696677http://squidgeburger.tumblr.com/post/51064696677Wed, 22 May 2013 22:03:40 +1000<img src="http://25.media.tumblr.com/df0d2708f4b9cdcf9cc8ed10597dbd30/tumblr_mn6m73MYAA1r3frnvo1_400.jpg"/><br/><br/>http://squidgeburger.tumblr.com/post/51055763659http://squidgeburger.tumblr.com/post/51055763659Wed, 22 May 2013 17:02:14 +1000<img src="http://25.media.tumblr.com/8e25880fc106a29270c728960350faf4/tumblr_mlyhaaYbWg1r77ccao1_500.png"/><br/><br/>http://squidgeburger.tumblr.com/post/51054002812http://squidgeburger.tumblr.com/post/51054002812Wed, 22 May 2013 16:15:59 +1000<img src="http://24.media.tumblr.com/3b679c81e8bb0b34a9d1b3714234f6e2/tumblr_miph4pwSs41rwvf68o1_500.jpg"/><br/><br/><p><a class="tumblr_blog" href="http://m-argherita.tumblr.com/post/43861714295/god" target="_blank">m-argherita</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p>God</p> </blockquote>http://squidgeburger.tumblr.com/post/51051923728http://squidgeburger.tumblr.com/post/51051923728Wed, 22 May 2013 15:29:29 +1000<img src="http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m9t0z349qy1r3cbf4o1_500.jpg"/><br/><br/>http://squidgeburger.tumblr.com/post/51049466610http://squidgeburger.tumblr.com/post/51049466610Wed, 22 May 2013 14:42:58 +1000<img src="http://25.media.tumblr.com/dbeb051e96ac50354aeeb17d130b4326/tumblr_mku3f4uy8f1r6dqvso1_500.jpg"/><br/><br/><p><a class="tumblr_blog" href="http://www.purebeachboho.com/post/50956903756/love" target="_blank">purebeachboho</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p>love</p> </blockquote>http://squidgeburger.tumblr.com/post/51046540925http://squidgeburger.tumblr.com/post/51046540925Wed, 22 May 2013 13:56:32 +1000<iframe src="//www.tumblr.com/video/squidgeburger/51043215933/400" id="tumblr_video_iframe_51043215933" class="tumblr_video_iframe" width="400" height="225" style="display:block;background-color:transparent;overflow:hidden;" allowTransparency="true" frameborder="0" scrolling="no" webkitAllowFullScreen mozallowfullscreen allowFullScreen></iframe><br/><br/><p><a class="tumblr_blog" href="http://videohall.tumblr.com/post/29138767234/this-is-what-happens-when-white-guys-listen-to" target="_blank">videohall</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p>This is what happens when white guys listen to Indian music</p> </blockquote> <p>My fav men</p>http://squidgeburger.tumblr.com/post/51043215933http://squidgeburger.tumblr.com/post/51043215933Wed, 22 May 2013 13:10:15 +1000<img src="http://25.media.tumblr.com/4b725ea169b4add0d9165de53d3c34ed/tumblr_mn2kb7MUXc1qkc9jco1_500.png"/><br/> <br/><img src="http://25.media.tumblr.com/2e0b7c8b8fa895ff22b8c1c4e17d9799/tumblr_mn2kb7MUXc1qkc9jco2_500.png"/><br/> <br/><p><a class="tumblr_blog" href="http://roscoe66.tumblr.com/post/50862581044/berrick-barnes-drew-mitchell-and-adam-ashley" target="_blank">roscoe66</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p>Berrick Barnes, Drew Mitchell and Adam Ashley Cooper of the Waratahs</p> </blockquote>http://squidgeburger.tumblr.com/post/51039438972http://squidgeburger.tumblr.com/post/51039438972Wed, 22 May 2013 12:23:45 +1000<img src="http://24.media.tumblr.com/4f3265ec8158264341223766489b1d71/tumblr_mn69fljcqr1r3frnvo1_500.png"/><br/> <br/><img src="http://24.media.tumblr.com/18a36b899c29f19c85347f26650e80aa/tumblr_mn69fljcqr1r3frnvo2_500.png"/><br/> <br/>http://squidgeburger.tumblr.com/post/51035534706http://squidgeburger.tumblr.com/post/51035534706Wed, 22 May 2013 11:37:14 +1000